At what point are we good enough? When are we self-improved enough to accept ourselves?

My initial response to these questions was never! With every day being a new opportunity for self improvement, there is always something to change or improve about oneself. But what made me think again was "enough to accept ourselves". In our society that is very hard to do when there are commercials telling you that you’re wrong or how you are living your life isn’t enough. Just when I think I've made an improvement the media says I'm outdated or I'm wrong. Let’s look at this topic on a smaller scale: Cell Phones. I buy a phone today and tomorrow it is outdated. Something "new and improved" (I hate that statement things can't be new and improved it’s either or) is introduced. The new phone is coined as a must have, the commercials and reviews send my mind racing...now I'm counting the days until my next upgrade. Never satisfied.

Unfortunately, this theory of self-improvement and never being satisfied is the foundation of our society. If the media sells the idea of "never being good enough" in commercials, on T.V., in music, in politics, etc. won't we as a nation internalize that idea? Being a nurse isn't good enough- you have to be doctor. Living a middle class life isn't good enough- we must strive to be filthy rich. Why? In education a diploma or Bachelors is no longer enough; a masters or PhD is now the standard. “There is so much emphasis on accomplishment in my culture that concerns me. So much emphasis on the appearance of self-improvement - physical, spiritual, mental.” (Another blogger)

**************************************THINKING***************************************

Average, ethics, the rule, measurement, quality, value, etc. all come to mind when I think of the word STANDARD. Who sets the standard? Whose standard do I live by? Is the standard I live by the same standard by which I being judged?

My answer: You can never satisfy the masses so satisfy yourself! The point at where we are good enough or have self-improved enough to accept ourselves is when we stop comparing ourselves to others and living according to other’s standards. Set goals that make you happy and proud of you. A lot easier said than done of course. It is important to live your own life! Not the life society says you should have, not life your parents want you to have, and definitely not the life of a celebrity or friend. It is okay to admire the drive of someone else or the accomplishments of someone else but that is their life. I admit that I get caught in the hype. I watch MTV Cribs and say that’s the kind of house I want but then I have to ask myself is that the kind of house I need. Everything in life, especially material things, is all relative to your purpose. Knowing your purpose in life can help eliminate failure and help you accept yourself for who you are and who God intended you to be.

For a long time I struggled with trying to be the person my parents wanted me to be. It’s struggle because my parents are my foundation of who I am- my morals and beliefs. Like most black families my parents wanted me to get a good education (whatever that means), surpass their endeavors, and marry a man! I tried to make my parents proud because I love them and I am thankful for things that they instilled in me. However, living under your parents’ roof and believing the words to be concrete or law can hinder growth. It wasn’t until I moved away for college that I was given the space to breathe and figure out who I am and what I want. Figuring out what God wants from me (my purpose) is an on-going process. Fortunately, what I want for me and what my parents want for me are similar. I wanted and continue to further my education, I have done many things my parents have only dreamed of, but I will not marry a man! LOL (That’s a WHOLE nother story!)

Bottom line: Do what works for you; keeping in mind the way you treat someone is the treatment you will receive. Your best is always good enough...just make sure you're doing your Best! And make sure your allow God to be your personal driver.

...::*V I O L A B L A C K*::...